❊ Lebanon’s Most Reviled Profession

First, take a guess: What is the subject of the paragraphs below?

• [They] rush towards the car and surround us. One of them asks me to open the window […] while his other hand is already grasping my door knob trying to open. […] Jesus! This a reenactment of a 1982 militia barrage in downtown Beirut!
• It’s not enough that we have to deal with ever increasing prices […], we also have to bare [their] arrogance and impoliteness
• They are rude, arrogant, and judge you based on [how expensive] your car [is]
• A mafia that monitors customers like an organized security network, and terrorizes business owners like roaming bandits

You might have guessed: The above snippets are from blog posts, comments and news reports about the men (always men) who park your car at restaurants, hotels, gyms and some universities in Lebanon. They are the infamous valet parking guys.

I’ve been thinking about why valet parking drivers in Lebanon are so rude. Generally, when service providers are rude, you can assume that they have secure jobs. They’re either protected from being fired by politics (which explains why government bureaucrats are rude) or protected by the fact that there’s more demand than supply in their field.

It’s probably the latter with the valet parking folks (unless you believe news reports that they are secretly working for Hezbollah). As Lebanese people, we have an insatiable demand for valet parking providers, and guess what? Their behavior shows that they know it.

Why is valet parking so much in demand in Lebanon? There are many explanations like urban density, bad road infrastructure, inadequate public transportation and high GDP per capita (yes, we are rich). But in my opinion, the biggest reason is cultural.

I’m not a valet parking hater. Sometimes valet parking services are necessary, like in weddings where we don’t want to walk long distances in our tuxedos and high heels (that will be 20,000LL please). But sometimes, in more casual contexts, I really don’t understand what we pay 5,000LL (plus the risk of having our belongings messed up and our cars bumped or stolen) for. Is it because we are highly inconvenienced by walking 5 extra minutes? Is it because we don’t want to be seen walking? I really don’t know. It is by definition a Lebanese kind of je ne sais quoi. Have you ever considered the irony of using valet parking in gyms?

Of course, not all valet parking drivers are rude, and maybe we should be thankful for a sector that is employing so many unskilled macho men (men who would otherwise roam the streets and start fights.). But the next time you are pissed off by a rude valet parking driver, remember that you can always turn down his service and walk way.