Yes The Lebanese Are Kind. But With The “Right” People.

Maria is a Mexican woman who is currently living in Beirut (She’s one of those foreign women who blog in Lebanon). She recently wrote an account of Lebanese “random acts of kindness” with her:

I am reading a book, standing by the door. The concierge approaches me and offers me to come in and seat on his chair. When I do this, he brings me a coffee. Then he leaves

I am in a taxi; the driver doesn’t have any change. He tells me I can leave, without paying (impossible scenario in NYC!). I am in another taxi, the driver asks me if I am comfortable, and whether I prefer window or AC (yeah right Boston cabs). I am out with friends, someone pays for my whole meal without me even knowing the person that well. When I offer to pay the person categorically refuses. I am in the street, waiting for a cab, next to a guy who is waiting for a cab too. A cab comes, he doesn’t take it but lets me go instead and helps me negotiate a price… I can go on.

After some cynicism, she concluded that there’s a simple explanation: The Lebanese are kind.

This is true of course. The Lebanese have what we call in Arabic Nakhwe’, which translates loosely as a combination of chivalry and generosity. Depending on your worldview, this is either a good thing (helpfulness) or a bad thing (the remnants of a macho culture). But unfortunately, Maria’s conclusion is not the complete Story.

Imagine for a second that instead of Maria (a foreign lady who can’t speak the language, who is obviously educated and “respectable”) there was a Lebanese man of a certain social class, A Filipino maid, a Syrian or Sudanese worker. Would the taxi driver really let go of the fare and ask you if you’d like air conditioning? Would the guy next to you give away his taxi ride? Not in a million years..

The Lebanese are indeed kind, but not with everyone. In fact, this got me thinking: Is there a formula in our mind with which we choose with whom to be kind? Is it Gender related? (Would a Lebanese woman in a nail salon cede her place to Maria?) Is it about being foreign (that didn’t work for the Filipinos, Sudanese and Syrians), is it the right kind of foreign? (Is Mexico right but the Philippines wrong?), or is it simply a matter of social class (We’re only kind to the well off?).

On a totally related matter: Today is the anniversary of the Sabra and Chatilla massacre, when a bunch of Lebanese slaughtered thousands of men, women and children. How’s that for kindness?