Inside the Meeting..

The Beirut Spring has learned a few tricks from Al-Dyar. It’s bringing you live what’s going on right now, inside the round table…(There’s also a few things that haven’t been said yet)

Nabih Berry: Ladies and..Euh.. I mean Gentlemen, we are gathered here today for a very serious national dialogue. The point of it is to talk and maybe get to know each other.
Now, before I take my seat and become just like any one of you, let me throw in a thought: I have a dream, that one day we will be able to have this meeting in the Shebaa farms. I heard they have the best ski slopes in the country.

Walid Jumblat (Interrupting Berri): I have a better dream, how about having it in the Baabda palace? We can relax by watching the fountains and all those soldiers who walk in a funny way..

Marwan Hmedeh: Too bad there’s a mass murderer in there

Muhammad Raad: Can we go back to our national dialogue? What are we going to do with all those misguided Lebanese politicians who are taking orders from America and the Zionist enemy?

Saad Hariri: Mohammed, this is not what we’re here to talk about. We are here to decide once and for all how to get Syria off our back and to regain our free and independent Lebanon. (Pssst.. Walid, slip in a nasty comment about the Iranian nuclear interference in Lebanon)

Ahmad Fatfat: Mr. Hariri said it best

Michel Aoun: I thought they said we’re having breakfast before we start talking! Where are my Count Choculas? No wonder you guys cannot handle a country. You are all insane! You are all corrupt! Hey you, why are you staring at me like that?

Butros Harb: Gentlemen, gentlemen, relax, let’s talk about the Presidency

Ghazi el Aridi: Yeah, that’s a good starting point!

Hassan Nassrallah: We have more important things to talk about. Let’s start with the conspiracy Bush and Rice and Co are preparing against us. Walid, why on earth are you going to visit Paul Wolfowitz?

Jumblat: To be honest, we want to topple the Syrian regime; what you don’t know is that Abdel Halim Khaddam will be joining us. I have a plan to create unrest in the Syrian Druze areas. Hopefully all of the Syrian people will follow..

Mohammed Fneish: Let’s see what you’re going to get from those backstabbing Americans

Samir Geagea: It’s too late Mohamed, the Syrian regime is doomed. If you’re wise, you’ll hand in your weapons. The Syrians will not protect you. Lahhoud will not protect you. Only the Lebanese people can protect you..

Hassan Nassrallah: Before preaching look at yourself Mr. Mass Murdering warlord. Who are you to come and give us lessons in nationalism???

Pierre Gmayyel: He’s more Lebanese than you’ll ever be Mr. Iran!!

Mohammed Fneish: How dare you insult sama7at al Sayyed you brat!!

Fuad Senioura: Ya jama3a, Ya jama3a. I see we’re making excellent progress. But let’s continue tomorrow..

(note: For all of you who did not understand that this is a parody, please note that I am not willfully disseminating wrong information. This post, in case you didn’t get it, is just a joke)