Hello World

Amid wild media fanfare and brouhaha, the Syrian Investigation Committee decided to tell the whole world about the rule of law in Syria… No really.

“Good evening Ladies and Gentlemen, Bonsoir Mesdames et Monsieurs.
Hi, kyfkon, ça va?

There’s two reasons why we’re repeating everything we say in French and in English: First, we don’t trust the translators at Zionist-controlled CNN, BBC and TV5. Second, we want to show the whole world how educated and competent we are. We want you to also note that we are using cutting edge technology (did you know we have email?) and that we are a diversified bunch (we have a woman as our leader).

We know that most International and Arab media have mobilized substantial resources and equipment for this “press conference”, we also know that everything we say (translations included) are printed on a piece of paper for us to read.

We should have just made a press release, but since the whole purpose of this committee is to make a show, let’s announce two boring things:
1- We exist and we have officially started our work.
2- We have started gathering information about…err from people who are willing to help in the investigation. You can call us or send us an email, but preferably, and especially if you have sensitive information about important people, we want you to come to us in person.

Oh, one more thing, we want to remind the whole world, in case the so-called experts of the UN forget, there is an important legal concept called the presumption of innocence.

And finally, the investigation is highly secretive, this is why we won’t be taking any questions.

We hope you understand.”