Maria is a Mexican woman who is currently living in Beirut (She’s one of those foreign women who blog in Lebanon). She recently wrote an account of Lebanese “random acts of kindness” with her:
I am reading a book, standing by the door. The concierge approaches me and offers me to come in and seat on his chair. When I do this, he brings me a coffee. Then he leaves
I am in a taxi; the driver doesn’t have any change. He tells me I can leave, without paying (impossible scenario in NYC!). I am in another taxi, the driver asks me if I am comfortable, and whether I prefer window or AC (yeah right Boston cabs). I am out with friends, someone pays for my whole meal without me even knowing the person that well. When I offer to pay the person categorically refuses. I am in the street, waiting for a cab, next to a guy who is waiting for a cab too. A cab comes, he doesn’t take it but lets me go instead and helps me negotiate a price… I can go on.
After some cynicism, she concluded that there’s a simple explanation: The Lebanese are kind.
This is true of course. The Lebanese have what we call in Arabic Nakhwe’, which translates loosely as a combination of chivalry and generosity. Depending on your worldview, this is either a good thing (helpfulness) or a bad thing (the remnants of a macho culture). But unfortunately, Maria’s conclusion is not the complete Story.
Imagine for a second that instead of Maria (a foreign lady who can’t speak the language, who is obviously educated and “respectable”) there was a Lebanese man of a certain social class, A Filipino maid, a Syrian or Sudanese worker. Would the taxi driver really let go of the fare and ask you if you’d like air conditioning? Would the guy next to you give away his taxi ride? Not in a million years..
The Lebanese are indeed kind, but not with everyone. In fact, this got me thinking: Is there a formula in our mind with which we choose with whom to be kind? Is it Gender related? (Would a Lebanese woman in a nail salon cede her place to Maria?) Is it about being foreign (that didn’t work for the Filipinos, Sudanese and Syrians), is it the right kind of foreign? (Is Mexico right but the Philippines wrong?), or is it simply a matter of social class (We’re only kind to the well off?).
On a totally related matter: Today is the anniversary of the Sabra and Chatilla massacre, when a bunch of Lebanese slaughtered thousands of men, women and children. How’s that for kindness?
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“the Sabra and Chatilla massacre, when a bunch of Lebanese slaughtered thousands of men, women and children”
hmmm , presenting it this way is Not fair…
Kindly put it in its historical context … you know the slaughtered newly elected president, the israeli manipulation/presence, the war etc…
Humbly yours …
Fadi
OH MY GOD FADI!…
Yes PLEASE Mustapha, kindly mention that Qana massacre is COMPLETELY justified because hey you have to put it into context… And of course when Afghan women get their heads chopped off my drones shooting missiles at them, we shan’t forget 9/11 which completely justifies killing innocent civilians…
AAAAAAAAAAAH…
“The Lebanese are indeed kind, but not with everyone. ”
I think the Lebanese society is one of the most class-conscious societies. Their narrow-minded perceptions and prejudices of other peoples’ soci-economic class is the bases of why they relate differently to different ‘classes’ of people…
I applaud you! For coming out with it as it is. Your title, in my opinion, is a very accurate description of a population I seem to realize more and more as bigoted and small minded with no care for intelligent conversation. I find critical thinking rare amongst Lebanese and one of the reasons I think this may be is due to schooling- where you’re made to memorize and repeat never question… Of course, many years of war and that feeling of inferiority it can cause for many reasons can also render you to feel like you are above others- if only so you can go to sleep at night feeling important.
the first part of ur article might be close to truth….but let me tell u something….the way you ended your article is stupid….the massacre is indeed a tragedy…but has nothing to do with kindness or such matters…it was war, and the lebanese who murdered these victims were actually collaborating with the israelis….they do not represent the majority of lebanese, so u cannot in any way end ur article that way, it removes any credibility to the whole text in my opinion…
and to both who commented (ws and bethany): the way u generalize and talk abt lebanese being narrow minded and no care for intelligent conversation, also makes ur comment not credible….when u present such an argument or opinion, u can only talk abt a certain experience with specific facts, in no way u can generalize like that…..thats very short sighted of u both….
“Today is the anniversary of the Sabra and Chatilla massacre, when a bunch of Lebanese slaughtered thousands of men, women and children. How’s that for kindness?”
BRILLIANT remark Steve! Brilliant, that is, for a propagandist and a hack writer, not a classy thoughtful and keen observer like you.
WTF Steve? What about Sabra and Chatilla, eh? Not the facts, Steve, I know the facts!!! What about the context of Sabra and Chatila, Steve? Decent historians (and students of history) don’t give a rat’s ass about facts (because one may or may not have disagreements over facts)!!! That is why what matters in writing, evaluating, and assessing history, Steve, is CONTEXT!!!
So, please, give me the context of Sabra and Chatilla, and spare me your righteous indignation over the nasty Lebanese who “slaughtered thousands of men, women and children.” Ahem! “Thousands” Steve? Not that the numbers matter, you cannot quantify ugliness and savagery!!. But “thousands” Steve? C’mon man! Why are you stooping down with the stoopers?? Chewing the Jumblat Qaat are ya? btw, the Red Cross put the Sabra-Shatila body-count at 400. Not a consolation in my book, but still a far cry from your sensationalist “thousands”!!!
Anyway, if you’re interested in looking at the “context” someday (the context of EVERYTHING that went on in Lebanon since 1969) putting into perspective (NOT propaganda) all that the Maronites did to protect and preserve Lebanon (from standing up to the Palestinians, to seeking help from Israel, while our Sunni countrymen (and others) gave free reins and assisted those attempting to dismantle their own State), I would advise to look into the following (in the run up to, and the aftermath of the Lebanese War):
–The Cairo Agreement and the Melkart Agreement (basically emasculating Lebanon’s decision-making and castrating the Lebanese Army on the altar of Palestinianism and Arabism…)
–Palestinian thuggery and repeated violation and trampling over Lebanese sovereignty.
–Arab and Syrian meddling into Lebanese affairs (and Lebanon’s Muslims, mainly Sunnis, giving assistance…)
–Consistent refusal of the Sunnis (and their Palestinian guns) to put Lebanon first, disarm the Palestinians, and force them to conform to the law of the land… (today, unfortunately, the same scenario is being elaborated by Hezballah…)
I’ll let you finish the research.
As far as massacres go, let me mention only 4, in addition to your Sabra and Shatila: do Beit Mallat, Deir Achech, Damour, and Mteyn ring a bell? Maybe not! But lemme tell you, they are seared into my memory. We’ll have drinks someday, and I’ll tell you all about them and their CONTEXT, Steve!!! And then maybe you can tell me about about your Sabra and Shatila (an no worries, Steve, no context necessary here; I know the context! It IS also seared in my memory.)
peace out!!
Fadi, Ali and Louis
I can assure you that the inclusion of the Sabra and Shatilla massacre is not intended for sensationalism. In fact, as a Lebanese, I took ownership of that massacre and did not blame other Lebanese for it. I find it bizzarre that you guys are taking umbrage. This is related to the topic, and speaking of “context”, it would be absurd to talk about the kindness of the Lebanese people without bringing up the horrors they are capable of. As for the figures, wikipedia puts them between 800 and 3,500 , so I assume “thousands” is a safe characterization.
Tarek,
I agree, one can’t qualify a massacre
Ws,
It pained me to put it in writing, but you’re exactly right.
Beth,
Thanks for the kind words. But I’d be careful about casting the entire population with the “bigoted” epithet. Remember, there are countless Lebanese who are working hard against injustices and prejudice, and countless others who treat their foreign maids like their own children (I know an old couple that pampers their “daughter” more than they would their own flesh and blood)
Tarek : Putting a story in its context is NOT justifying !! I am just asking for the full story !
Chill !!
Mus, probably Maria was an attractive chick that everyone seems to be hitting on.
As for that last bit of writing, I think that it is simply brilliant to be able to cram so much unfairness to such a huge issue into so few words:
First, there were very few ‘Men’ in the camps during the massacres as the PLO were forced to leave Beirut port a few weeks before, leaving only women, children and elderly behind. It was supervised by Israeli forces and led by Elias Hobeika who later defected to the Syrian side against Geagea.
Second, the massacre was triggered by the Murder of Bashir Gemayel (unknown culprit) but the hatred was already there since the savage slaughters that took place during the Lebanese civil war, mainly during Palestinian-Christian confrontations in Beirut Souks.
And third, it is very important to read the full history of the Lebanese civil war and the events that affected their behaviour so deeply; we will always be selectively good-behavioured in front of potentially influential foreigners, whether financially, politically or emotionally. Welcome to Lebanon
“Your title, in my opinion, is a very accurate description of a population I seem to realize more and more as bigoted and small minded with no care for intelligent conversation. I find critical thinking rare amongst Lebanese and one of the reasons I think this may be is due to schooling- where you’re made to memorize and repeat never question… Of course, many years of war and that feeling of inferiority it can cause for many reasons can also render you to feel like you are above others- if only so you can go to sleep at night feeling important.”
I find Bethany’s remarks about “the Lebanese” to be exceptionally arrogant to say the least.
Further, as another foreigner living in Beirut, I think it’s in very poor taste for one of us to make a statement like that.
Given what is happening in her native country at the moment the expression “Pot calling the kettle black springs to mind”.
Bethany, people who live in glass houses should not throw stones.
BritInBeirut, I think you’re being unfair to the spirit of Bethany’s comment. Both of you are friends of this blog and I’d hate to see u misunderstand each other.
It seems you’re assuming that Bethany is British. She is in the sense that she’s married to one and lives in the UK, but she’s as Lebanese as one can get. I don’t think it’s arrogant of her to find what she sees as a fault in her own people, and I don’t really know about which glass house you’re talking about.
She could have qualified her post or have been more politically correct, but I think you misread her point..
Hello! I must say I can see how my comment has been misconstrued. I agree it seems like I am generalizing but of course I do not in no way think all Lebanese are like this. I am Lebanese and I like to think I am not like this. I try my best not to, at least. I’m just very very passionate about this topic because I have witnessed first hand accounts of how some of these domestic workers are mistreated (one has been beaten in front of me, must you know). I just wish more Lebanese can rally up and push for change and speak about it “like it is” as Mustapha has and this takes a lot of courage.
Anyway, for the most part the majority of people I know mistreat their domestic help including a very dear friend. When I mention anything about it I’m pitied and told to wake up and smell the coffee because if you treat them otherwise they will take control of you and lead you! This is a very common response I get. general or not, it is what I’ve experienced.
True Mustapha.
However, the post regarding the “Lebanese” was incredibly blunt and, I must say, not representative of my social circle. Labelling a whole society as, essentially, racist and unable to engage in critical thought is too much.
The Glass Houses remark relates to her description of herself on her own site as being “born American.” Given the ongoing anti-Islamic agenda in the US … I felt that the glass houses comment was warranted.
That said, I realise she’s Lebanese. And she has my apologies.
Bethany, you have my apologies, however the wording of your post gave the strong impression that you were condemning the entire Lebanese population.
In every society there are bigots and racists.
I just wrote today on my blog about how as Lebanese every word we say counts and can create division. Unfortunate reality of our existence.
Barki one day we’ll realize that not everything needs to be so political and so over thought. Sabra and Shatila was definitely a crime against humanity and there are many examples like it in our history. Maybe we should just remember and keep silent.