What loud celebratory gunfire and second-order elections have in common in Lebanon.

The measure of greatness…

Two relatively-new phenomena have been taking hold in Lebanon since we got into our famed political standstill. The first is the increasing importance partisan media is placing on second-order elections. News websites are spatting over the tiniest of university elections and the old media are joining in: Today, for instance, Hariri’s Almustaqbal newspaper run a major story on its first page about the preliminary results of the elections in the order of Lebanese nurses, in which March 14 had a strong showing.

The other is the new habit of shooting in the air whenever a political leader appears on TV. Sure we had that before, but only the holiest of holies, the ones that have beards and promise the destruction of Israel got that privilege. Today, even those who promise modernity are hailed with storms of Klashnikove bullets.

All this is happening because the Lebanese can’t have a real civil war. We would love to fight but the memory of the last one is all too fresh in our memories. so we go to the next best thing: We fight proxy wars in which supremacy is measured by who enlists more dentists or whose gunfires during public appearances are louder.

Well, at least we get distracted until the big boys decide our fate.

Does the Syrian president really send secret messages to his Lebanese allies?

Not-so-subliminal message (Photo credit: AFP)

Yesterday, MP. Walid Jumblat of the Progressive Socialist Party and March 14 bigwig accused the Syrian president, who was hosting the Arab League summit in Damascus, of “giving his allies in Lebanon the secret word to obstruct government business”. But why do those instructions have to be so topsy-turvy?

According to March 14, it’s because deniability is an important component of the Syrian modus-operandi. The Syrians are pursuing two, seemingly conflicting objectives. 1- Stall progress in Lebanon until a more sympathetic US administration replaces that of President George Bush. 2- Appear to be a constructive Arab partner to reduce its alienation and appeal to an impressionable ‘Arab-street’

Others, like the Lebanese opposition, argue that this logic wreaks of conspiracy theory. They contend that Syria has no influence over some parts of the opposition (Aoun and to a lesser extend, Hezbollah), and that the Arabs are putting too much pressure on Syria to do something it really can’t do.

So when the President of Syria says “The Lebanese should reach a consensus for their own problems”, some read it as “Our Lebanese allies should feel free to continue blocking a solution”, others as “The Lebanese should reach a consensus for their own problems”

So, whom do you believe?

How can the confrontation between the Maliki government and the Mahdi Army be best characterized?

Is this a legitimate-government-vs-bad-militia narrative?

for the first time since Saddam’s overthrow, the Iraqi government made what could prove to be the historic decision to assert its authority by laying down a direct challenge to the lawless militia groups that have turned large swathes of Iraq’s second city into a no-go zone.

Or is it much more cynical than that?

Much of the reporting on this fighting in Basra and Baghdad [..] assumes that Mr. Sadr and his militia are the bad guys who are out to spoil the peace, and that the government forces are the legitimate side trying to bring order. This is a dangerous oversimplification [..] The current fighting, which the government portrays as a crackdown on criminality, is better seen as a power grab, an effort by Mr. Maliki and the most powerful Shiite political parties to establish their authority over Basra and the parts of Baghdad that have eluded their grasp.

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Should the Arab League of nations be able to punish its misbehaving members ?

Spot the troublemaker. (Photo: Alhayat)

Yesterday, the Saudi Foreign Minister came up with an interesting idea: Arab league members who ignore the League’s decisions should be punished.

Of course, the Saudi diplomat in chief was not trying to propose revolutionary reforms that would create a stronger, more respectable Arab league. He was just upset with Syria and wanted to find a way to punish it for not allowing Lebanon to elect a President. But don’t worry, expect the idea to die soon.

Still, Mr. Faysal was up to something. Regulations, and more importantly their enforcement, are the cornerstone of any self-respecting polity that wishes to establish authority and consequently, influence. Imagine an Arab league that can come up with chapter-7 decisions where the erring member can risk a full Arab economic boycott. How awesome would that be?

But then again, who are we kidding? Arabs just don’t do rule of law. But who knows? Miracles have happened before and perhaps the Iranian threat can finally get them together to take this bitter pill..

You can now access the mobile version of this blog on m.beirutspring.com. This includes an Iphone version (complete with an app icon!) for those of you who are waiting in line and can’t wait to get your BS fix.

** Update: Mobile servers are being upgraded so there’s no access at the moment **

Are all forms of censorship wrong? Are there some that are more permissible than others?

NowLebanon points out the difference between censoring the DaVinci Code and censoring Persepolis:

Censorship is always a divisive issue, a tool that is often the hallmark of repression and authoritarianism – we saw it with Lebanon’s equally bigoted banning of the Di Vinci Code in 2006, over the film’s controversial treatment of Christianity – but this instance was all the more sinister in that it was carried out to protect the delicate sensibilities of a foreign, rather than Lebanese entity. And not just any foreign entity: one that is actively working to impose itself on Lebanon, through massive spending, military training and political interference in Lebanon’s Hezbollah-led opposition.

But before you get all carried away and righteous about all censorships being wrong on principle, I offer you a challenge: Fitna.

Should it be censored or not?